Category Archives: Humor

#fmsphotoaday Day 10 #fms_travel

I guess I should be thankful for all of the rain this morning.  Otherwise my ‘travel’ photo may have been a real drag.  My travel today was just the daily commute – weeee!

#fmsphotoaday Day 10: Travel. What a gross morning to be on the road! #fms_travel

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Have no fear my friends concerned with safety.  This photo was taken while I was stopped.  Not only was I in a downpour but I was also stuck behind a school bus who makes the most ridiculous bus stops.  Back when I was a youngin’, kids gathered from a block radius to all get on the bus at a mutual stop.  This bus stops on the highway several times within less than a half mile.  One bus stops, kids.  Unity in your community starts by having fewer bus stops.

Other travel gems today include:

 

 

 

Tomorrow’s photo challenge:  TINY!

 

 

 

#fmsphotoaday 9 : #fms_sign

I pass so many signs on my way to and from work.  Easy, peasy.  Signs.

Yeah.  Easy.  Until you forget you are supposed to be taking a picture of a sign and you have to make some quick maneuvers through traffic to get get on snapshot.

#fms_sign #fmsphotoaday Photo Challenge: sign

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I stopped by one of our local vegetable stands and boom!  Day 9 photo challenge complete.

Today there were lots of great sign post on Instagram.  I’m going to share these with you guys instead of me running at the mouth.

 

 

#fmsphotoaday sign

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Tomorrow’s Challenge:  Travel

Day 8 : My Sunday #fms_sunday

And we trudge on!  With a week of photo challenge under my belt I come to day 8:  My Sunday.  Today was a busy day with Mother’s Day visiting, yard work, and grocery shopping.  The morning started out with birding!  I have volunteered for the 2nd Virginia Breeding Bird Atlas.  My mission is to visit my assigned area (my block) for twenty hours between April and October for the next four years.  Two of my visits have to be nocturnal visits.  I’m on the lookout for birds and especially birds who are trying to or have already made a love connection!  I have to keep my peepers open for singing males, birds collecting nesting materials, fledglings and other such suggestions that breeding is taking place in my block.  Not to sound like a total nerd, but it is super exciting!  Today I saw a pair of Northern Cardinals alerting their fledgling of my presence (score!) and a female Carolina Wren moving her fledglings along (double score!)

Day 8 #fmsphotoaday : My Sunday – Logging birds for the Virginia Breeding Bird Atlas #vabba2

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This is an almost enchanting path located in my block.  I have high-fived myself numerous times that the owner of this property has granted me permission to bird here!  Eeeeee!  So much fun!

Tomorrow’s photo challenge :  A sign!

#fmsphotoaday Day Six

Day Six … Air … The day I almost forgot.

#fmsphotoaday Day 6: Air … it's there… I promise.

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I shit you not folks, I was in that funny medium between being slightly alert and being really asleep.  You know that special land where you can almost start dreaming?  I had a hot rice pack on my rickety neck and shoulder.  It was easing the aches and pains I have developed over the years and then suddenly into the darkness…

“Fuck.  Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

I shot up out of bed, threw the covers off of me while continuing to cling to the rice pack.

“What?  What’s wrong?”  The poor beau was probably certain that my evil alter ego, ‘Sleep Walking’ Mel had struck and was about to raise havoc on the dark household.  Would I turn on the coffee pot or the stove?

“I didn’t blog.  I took the damn air picture but I never did a blog post about it.  If I skip today, I’ll skip tomorrow and I’ll never get back on track.”

So here I am.  In my pajamas (which are decorated with peacocks) and no glasses.  I have no idea what I’m typing.  If someone assumes I’m drunk right now, I’ll sadly have to correct them tomorrow by saying … no.  No I’m blind.

No reason to proofread this sucker because it’s a blurry screen to me.

Tomorrow…. This means a lot to me… or Tomato a hot toddy.  I’m not quite sure.  I can’t see the damn thing.

#fmsphotoaday Day Five

Day five’s photo challenge from Fat Mum Slim is button.

#fmsphotoaday Day 5: Button … on my Tufted Titmouse shirt. Yes, I have a Tufted Titmouse shirt. #birdnerdproblems #ilovebirds

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I want to apologize if I ever gave the impression that this would be an easy jump start to get my creative battery back up and running.  Do you know how hard it is to get through your day and find a random button to photograph?  Seriously, I almost took a picture of my bellybutton (and I’m sure there are people who have.  There were nude shots on N is for day.)  Tomorrow is AIR!  How the fuck am I supposed to photograph AIR?

I’d love to chat, but I made the fatal new recipe mistake.  I paid no attention to the ‘Time To Complete’ section Oktoberfest Chicken and Cabbage.  No biggie, right.  No biggie until you realize that it takes an hour and a half and you are just starting at 7:00 pm.  I hear it is very European to eat late.  I always wanted to be a Brit.

Join me tomorrow for Day 6:  Air …. Are you fucking kidding me… air.

 

 

 

Day Four of #fmsphotoaday

Day 4 – only twenty some more to go!

Today’s prompt is ball!

If there had been a neuter today, you guys may have been in for a pretty graphic post-op surprise…. but there wasn’t.

What was a surprise today was our Amazon shipment containing one of the two Catit enrichment toys that we bought for Ratchet – our cat who refuses to forget he came from the hard streets of his cat-hood.  Born to a feral mother, he still lives out every single moment like someone is out to kill him.

DSC01786

 

We’ve been really worried about how Ratchet would deal the recent passing of our devil cat Shamooki.  He was terrified of her and yet obsessed with her all at the same time.  She was like his security blanket.  As long as Shamooki was there to lay the smack down on him and everyone else, all was right in the world.

Day 4 of #fmsphotoaday – Ball Ratchet's new Catit Senses 2.0 Super Circuit Toy. #catenrichment #catastic

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I think in the end, he understood her time was near and he handled things much better than we anticipated.  Still, we felt rocking some new toys he would be able to grieve her death a little more easily.

He’s the proud new owner of the Super Circuit and the Food Tree (still in transit).

I’ve doused the Super Circuit with enough cat nip to keep him stoned for days.  Hopefully he decides that this is the best thing since sliced bread and not a government conspiracy.

Join me tomorrow (unless the cat finds a way to kill me with the Super Circuit) for Day Five – button.

#fmsphotaday – DAY 3 – N is for

N is for … Nametag that I rocked for nearly 12 hours today!  Holy cow!  What a day.  I just made a joke that I wear a name tag so I can remember my own name.  Maybe I should have had my address engraved on the back just in case I get lost!

 

#fmsphotoaday Day 3 – N is for…. Nametag that I rocked for nearly 12 hours today. #vettech #lvt

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Since I’m too tired to be witty, I found someone else being witty.

 

#fmsphotoaday Day 2: Routine

*Gasping*  Holy shit.  *Holding up one finger* Let me catch my breath.

I made it, bitches.  I made it.  Day 2 of #fmsphotoaday – I am here!

My first idea was to take a picture of my new snazzy lunchbox.  I bought it a few weeks ago and I’ve been serious about getting my healthy eating habits back on track.  And by that I mean I eat everything in my lunchbox and still sometimes get ice cream on the way home.

Don’t hate.

It figures the day I’m supposed to be posting a photo about my routine (lunch packing) I forgot to pack a fundamental part of my lunch.  In my defense, I brought all the ingredients, mixing bowls, a whisk, a spatula and a Crockpot to work so I could make one of my coworkers a Betty Crocker Chocolate Lava Cake…. mmmmmm….

 

Image Credit : Betty Crocker Website – sadly not my image

Instead of my lunchbox, I’m posting a picture of my routine of utilizing my Kindle’s Audiable app.

#fmsphotoaday Day 2: Routine – Listening to audio books on my drive to and from work.

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I mentioned on my blog post yesterday that I’ve been listening to Charles Duhigg’s The Power Of Habit.  It’s not the first audio book I downloaded.  First in my library was Ireland by Frank Delaney followed by Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell and The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

I had the hardest time focusing on the fictional books.  I first tried out Ireland on a road trip with the beau.  It’s purpose was to be a good distraction so that I wouldn’t think about having to pee the whole ride.  I decided that I wasn’t able to pay attention to it because the beau and I chatted a lot along the way and that is why I couldn’t stay focused.

I tried again later with Gone With The Wind – a book I can nearly recite on my own.  Nope, found myself zoning off to another world and not the world of The Hitchhiker’s Guide.  In one ear and out the other as I pondered about what was for dinner or how would I ever be able to differ the songs of the Chipping Sparrow and the Pine Warbler.

It was a last ditch effort to try a non-fiction audio book.  I really enjoyed the first podcast season of Serial.  I thought to myself, maybe I need someone to talk some real shit to me on the way home.

I scrolled the list and came across Habit.  I have been really impressed with it thus far.  It has a nice pace, a few backstories that are bounced around and some eye-opening facts.  Now, if I can use this to have more good habits than bad.

Come back tomorrow for day three:  “N is for….”

#fmsphotoaday : Blue

Let me start by saying I just sat with my earbuds securely placed in my ears for roughly nine minutes before I realized that I never turned on my writing jams.

Can I get a mic check? #bloggingblunder on the blog http://bit.ly/1O7Vwya

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Yup.  That pretty much summed everything up.

A few weeks ago I had this brilliant idea that I was going to get back in the writing routine by challenging myself to eat my way through the El Maguey menu.  This was going to be a tres leche cake walk for me.  I love to eat!  I posted the first meal of my challenge two weekends ago.

Side note:  I’ve been listening to this audio book on my workday commutes.  I was thinking that The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg would just be some background noise provided to me by a free credit on Audible.  Surprise to me:  It’s becoming the story of my life.

The next week, we didn’t go to El Maguey and just like that the ritual of my new blogging subject was broken.  Turns out that for something to become a habit, you have to do it more than once.  Funny thing, those habits.  By the time our next El Maguey meal had come around I had already lost interest and moved on to one of my favorites.  (Habit!  There you are!)

I whipped out my Chromebook this afternoon and typed in, “How To Get My Writing Mojo Back”.

 

Oh, there you are. #GettingYourWritingMojoBack http://bit.ly/1O7Vwya

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Just kidding.  I wish it was that cool.  It wasn’t.

I saw this on Facebook.  Yes, Facebook.  That black hole that is the plague of all of our brains.  However, it did possibly provide me with the writer’s starter fluid I may need.  Time to see if we can set this blog a blaze.  (Not literally.  I’m terrified of fires.)

I wasn’t a hundred percent sold on this model.  I jumped over to Pinterest and started a search.  I thought about using the list from The Journaling Sage, but today’s prompt is to list all the people you’d love to write to.  Unfortunately I can’t even fathom writing to myself lately so let’s dial this shit down a little.

I did stumble across a list of journal prompts for elementary students and I have you know…  I haven’t totally ruled that out.

My final choice comes from Chantelle at Fat Mum Slim (which I accidentally read as Fat Muslim at first).  Chentelle says she’s the happiest person in the world and she loves cake.  If she adds that she loves tequila or gin to her intro then she’ll be perfect.   Her May Photo A Day Challenge seems to be just what I need.  A small task which I can rant as little or as much as I please.  Hmmm… take that writer’s block.

Today – Blue

In honor of my writer’s block, I photographed this lovely handmade Chromebook sleeve made for me by Hannah McDaniel.  I purchased it as encouragement to start writing with my  new Chromebook… that I bought to encourage myself to write.  You see the hole I’m digging there, yes?

#photoaday #challenge Blue. #fmsphotoaday http://bit.ly/1O7Vwya

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You may note that I have Pinterest up on the screen and that leads us to another hole that I have dug.  Can you see that post?  It’s about bullet journals and planners.  Bullet journals /planners are a great idea on paper (see what I did there).  When I’ve tried to set one up for myself I generally discover that it fully illustrates that I have no free time.  I was sure it was because I hadn’t found the write medium yet and for that I kept buying journals and planners.

#journalingfail #organizationalcrisis the dangers of Bullet Planners http://bit.ly/1O7Vwya

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That’s six, folks.  Six journals/planners that I have purchased this year to organize my life, thoughts and dreams … or whatever it is people on Pinterest say I’m organizing.  I had to stand on a stool to get all of those in the cute Instagram square frame and that isn’t easy when you are trying to not to bring it to your significant other’s attention that you have a problem – either with organization or irrational purchases.

Tomorrow’s Photo:  Routine – Watch out for it or for me not to show up… *mic drop*

#Mondayblogs – Here I Am

Who else is singing, ‘Rock you like a hurricane!’

Anyone?  Anyone?

Bueller?  Bueller?

60606499The last few lines may suggest to you that I’ve been on one of those extended cruises that celebrate the 80’s, which by the way is pure genius.

No.  No I haven’t been in the 80’s.  I’ve been here… on the cusp of being in my LATE THIRTIES.  The 80’s.  They were so long ago.  Sigh.

I’ve been a bit of a crazy person as of late.  Turns out when one area of your life is burnt out it causes lots of things to sizzle.  I’m here to see if I can get this old girl jump started and back at it.  You can either witness great success or laugh when I slip back away in the shadows.  Bring popcorn because no matter what’s going down you can always eat popcorn.

I’ve been trying to get back to the blog.  Unfortunately my tablet crashed and burned which seemed to be enough of an excuse for me to stop blogging.  Right after Christmas, I bought myself a Chromebook.  Oh, it’s lovely.  I turned it on, checked out all the cool apps and then shut it down.

Well… that didn’t go as planned.

It was a few weeks ago, that I decided food was what was going to get me back in the swing of things.  I announced to the beau that I was planning on eating my way through the El Maguey dinner menu.  We eat at our favorite restaurant once a week.  Even this special once a week treat can become a habit.  I found myself ordering the same four things (not at one sitting.  If that was the case I should probably be blogging about how to burn off a three thousand calorie meal).  My favorite go to is Vegetarian D – one chalupa, one bean burrito, and one quesadilla – and it is DELICIOUS!  Dulce Jesús!

I sat down that evening, cracked open the menu and looked for the first item on the dinner menu.  It was then that I put off the challenge for two weeks.  I was scared.

Let me start by saying I love chorizo.  That is some fantastic sausage.  However, since my run in with pancreatitis years ago I haven’t been the best of friends with sausage.  The richness and the fat content still causes me to get pangs in my back.  The first weekend I tried to figure a way around starting with chorizo and then the second weekend it was the night before the marathon.  No one likes doing a marathon with someone who may need to go to the emergency room.

Finally, dinner at El Maguey came around again.  When I picked up the menu and went towards the back the beau asked, “Will tonight be the night?”

“Yes.  Tonight is the night.”

As I told Lily what I wanted, I became tongue tied – obviously a sign that my pancreas was sending an SOS. No!  Not the sausage!   Beep beep beep..beep… beep… beep beep.   Of course my pancreas knows Morse code.

Lily gently helped me through my bilingual blunder.  “Huevo Con Chorizo?”

“That’s it.”

Huevo Con Chorizo – Scrambled Eggs with Mexican Sausage, served with Mexican Rice, Refried Beans and Two Tortillas.  – $8.25

When our plates were delivered, I quickly took out my phone and snapped a photo.

“Oh no.  You’re not becoming one of those people are you?”  The beau’s face expressed concern as his fork was already getting buried into his burrito loco.

“No.  I’m not becoming one of those people.  I’m becoming a blogger again.”

I’m going to try to be as unbiased as possible.  It is a known fact that I love El Maguey.  I was cautious and only ate half the plate.  I don’t know why because I think if the sausage is going to attack, the amount is not the factor.  The huevos y chorizo had a rich, smoky taste.  It mixed well with the side of rice and refried beans.  Slather all of that in your flour tortilla and you are as close to heaven as you can get with pancreatic meltdown looming in the distance.  If you are there at night but feel like you want breakfast for dinner, this is your ticket.

Next week…. Fajitas Salad!

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