There is a tragic misconception that crazy cat ladies (or men) are people that own ten cats or more. This is not true. Take it from me, the craziness starts at lower inventories.
Oh, yeah. They look completely sweet and innocent don’t they? Don’t believe that portrayal of innocence for one minute.
These two felines are maniacs and they are making me look like a lunatic!
We have a bizarre combination of personalities in this household. I would like to believe there is some balance between the two of them, but that belief only causes for stronger suggestion that I am nuts.
Meet The Cats:
This is my sweet little dear, Poli Poli Shamooki. I took Shamooki off a coworker’s bloody hands. At the tender age of four months old, Shamooki had become a blood thirsty beast that was maiming the small children of the household. No problem, I said! I have no children, I said!
Owning Shamooki is kind of like owning a junkyard pit bull chained with a ship’s anchor line to a bulldozer, who may or may not have rabies. I know that if anyone breaks into this house, Shamooki will kill them. Not kidding, folks. She has attacked several people on different occasions that she believed did not belong in her household. Just like a guard dog, Shamooki will protect me and this household at all cost. Unfortunately, it has the flip side that in times of boredom, kicking my ass will do.
Shamooki has to be sedated for any and all medical procedures no matter how quick and simple. I’ve seen her rip the glasses of a vet’s face before because he laughed at her. Never underestimate the power of this princess.
Ratchet is our cowardly lion. My beau found him at his shop when he was a wee little kitten. We are talking three weeks old little. His mother was part of a local feral colony and had been hit by a car. The beau took him home and bottle fed him. The beau saved his scrawny little life.
Somehow, Ratchet has stuck to his feral roots (all three weeks of them). He hides when company comes over, when the washer and dryer are running, when we cut grass, when we look at him for longer than five seconds. My sister house-sat for us she saw him once the whole time. We bought a new microwave a few years ago. Same brand, same color, in the same spot as the old one. He hid for hours! The opposite of Shamooki, if anyone breaks in and threatens my life, Ratchet will hide behind the piano until the coast is clear.
Now that you know what I deal with on a regular basis over here, I’m now going to tell you about my crazy existence with these cats over the last two months. First some back story.
Over a year ago, I tried switching litter brands because Shamooki was having allergy problems. We did a food trial, we got rid of all the plastic her lips came in contact with, I diluted the vinegar water I used to mop the floors even more. Nothing made a difference. My last ditch effort before succumbing to the fact I would have to medicate that devil daily was to try switching the litter.
Big mistake. At 9:39 pm the night of the switch, I discovered Ratchet peeing on one of our rugs. Cats, the peculiar creature that they are, can reject litter changes. I don’t know how many times I have had to discuss this with owners. Never did I think this could happen to me, but it did.
By 9:50 p, I had tore off my jammies and put on real clothes, screamed for the beau to watch that damn cat and made a mad dash to the store… which was closing in ten minutes. I ran through the front doors, acknowledging the sighs of the cashiers and apologetically saying, “Just one thing! So sorry! Litter emergency!”
While everyone else in my neighborhood was tucking themselves in bed, I was outside dumping out brand new cat litter and scrubbing out the litter boxes. All was restored to what we call normal. (Ha! Normal!)
Two months ago, I was reading about Tidy Cat’s Breeze Litter System used in combination with the Litter Genie. Everyone commented on the outstanding odor control. I’m a scooping fool when it comes to litter boxes, but I am constantly paranoid that a non-cat person (also read: sane person) can smell cats if they come in my house. Anything I can do to make my house smell less like a cat’s urinal the better.
What would I do about that damn Rachet?
Tidy Cat has recommendations when it comes to transitioning your cats to the Breeze system.
1. Mix the Breeze pellets in with your cats regular litter.
Okay, I didn’t do this. In my defense I did not see it in the handout. I probably would have been to afraid to freak Ratchet out anyways.
2. Don’t cut your cats off cold turkey. Place the Breeze system beside an existing regular litter box.
I did this. They totally ignored it. I talked to Shamooki, because I know she is open to the idea of new litter options. If she would set an example for Ratchet, I’m sure everything would be just fine!
3. Put some clumps of urine and feces in the new litter system.
At first, I refused to do this. How frickin’ gross is that. Put soiled litter in a perfectly good box. After a week of the new box being ignored, I grew desperate.
Yes… I put cat poop in a perfectly clean litter box. Dammit.
The website also recommends to refrain from cleaning your old box. It’s true, most cats will gravitate to the cleaner bathroom options.
I think we can all agree though that I do not have ‘most cats’.
I have not be able to make myself stop scooping the regular box. Yuck!
Twenty days in, I cleaned our regular box and sadly pulled the urine pad drawer out of the new box. Why bother at this point, no one is ever going to use the new box.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S A URINE SPOT ON THE PAD!
If you had seen me, you may have thought I had won the lottery or that I was trying out for The Sound Of Music! There was litter hope!
Then ten days passed by until there was more urine.
Another ten days again.
“It’s Shamooki. I know it is. She’s just doing it to fuck with my mind. She’s teasing me!”
One day, I heard Shamooki kicking around in the new box and I went to explain to her that she was in fact driving me bonkers.
Imagine the surprise on my face when I saw an orange and white figure squatting in the box!
Is there hope? Who knows. I’d love to do a full switch, by I am absolutely terrified of the repercussions we may suffer.
Cats = Crazy.