Advice For The Troubled Electronic Relationship

You and your laptop have been kicking it for a few years now, huh?  You’re at that point of comfortable that almost could be called sloppy.  Much like the relationship with your old significant other that use to leave the bathroom door open, your laptop and you are slipping into a danger zone. 

Do you find yourself rarely ever cleaning the screen or vacuuming her bottom?  (I’m sorry did anyone else get the giggles from that?)

Do you slam that screen down without the courtesy of selecting Shut Down first?

Have you left it plugged in so long that the battery has started to question why it even exists?

We all end up at this place time and time again.  A place of acceptance for what should be ‘the norm’ and what is ‘just okay’.  But watch out there, sailor.  That ole piece of digital heartache is about to give you a piece of her mind.

I recently came to that fork in the road where decisions and compromises were needed.

STEP ONE:  Take a deep breath.   Going into these confrontations can only escalate to fights if you go in with the wrong attitude.

STEP TWO:  Be straightforward.  Cut to the chase.  No one likes to solve a disagreement by beating around the bush.

WHAT THE HELL?  Why are you locking up?  It is a simple damn task.  Open that webpage.  That is your job.  You’re not a can opener, you’re not an oven, you’re a damn computer!  Do your job!

 

STEP THREE:  Reevaluate if you are really ready for step two.  If not, repeat step one.  Go for a walk, complete a household chore, have some chamomile tea (coffee is not recommended for such strong feelings).

 

STEP FOUR:  Repeat Step One once you are ready.  This time with a little more suave, hmm?  Remember how you at once loved and respected your laptop. 

 

STEP FIVE:  Ask questions.   As most of us women can tell you, we just want you to ask us what is wrong and listen.  We don’t want you to tell us how to fix it.  Just listen.  “Toshiba, why exactly are you behaving this way?”  You may be surprised to hear the stress that your laptop has been experiencing.  You may even find out that she hasn’t been feeling quite up to snuff.  Take all of this into consideration.

 

STEP SIX:  Consider that it may truly be time to throw in the towel.  You’ve been through  a  lot over the years.   People change, laptops grow old and worn down.  If it is time, don’t throw the laptop out in the yard and drive over it with your car.  Show some respect for this cherished item.   

 

STEP SEVEN:  Bring in a third party if things are too intense for you to sort through on your own.  This is where I can relate to my tomboy side and having spent years being one of the boys I can tell you I do this all the time.  I don’t need help, I don’t need directions, I can fix it myself.  I tried.  And tried.  And tried.  Which resulted in even more obscenities than you could imagine.  For years, I have been using the Advanced SystemCare Free Version for all my clean up needs.  It was time to step up and purchase the real thing.  I have told myself that it was just a ploy, that the fifty dollar version did nothing more than the free version.  Luckily, at my time of need it was on sale for twenty dollars, and let me tell you, it was worth it.  My brain may not be valued at much, but I can tell you that twenty dollars was well worth it in my book. 

 

Remember that all relationships need some upkeep at time.  (THANK YOU ADVANCED SYSTEMCARE).  At times, the stress a relationship must endure can increase suddenly and one party may not be able to handle that stress without a little help.  (Such as publishing a book, writing a second book, blogging, facebooking tweeting, emailing and so forth and so on).

 

Disclaimer:  I am not a health professional.  In the event if said advice causes a negative impact on the relationship between you and your laptop, I am not legally responsible. 

 

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