Daylight Crazy Time

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Can anyone tell me WHY THE FUCK WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES!  I refuse to believe that I am the only person wandering around with personality symptoms that rival those caused by Hitler’s syphilis.  I’m cranky, confused and want to kill anyone who says ‘but the day is longer.’  Bullshit, count it up.  You still have twenty four hours in a day.  The only difference is that I’m now getting up at five in the morning instead of six.  Don’t lie to yourself, it is really FIVE a.m. right now.  Extra hour, sheesh.

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This is why other countries laugh at us.  Sure, we can tell ourselves they laugh at us because we have an unhealthy obsession with infomercials, fast food and Justin Bieber.  Again, lie to yourself if it makes you feel better.  And I know, we aren’t the only country that does it.  There are others, and they are morons, too.

“More than 1.5 billion men and women are exposed to the transitions involved in daylight saving time: turning clocks forward by an hour in the spring and backward by an hour in the autumn,” wrote Imre Janszky and Rickard Ljung, health and welfare researchers in Sweden. “These transitions can disrupt chronobiologic rhythms and influence the duration and quality of sleep, and the effect lasts for several days after the shifts.”

Researchers in Sweden reported in 2008 in the New England Journal of Medicine that the number of heart attacks jumps during the period immediately following time changes, and that those vulnerable to sleep deprivation should be extra careful.  (thanks ABC News)

Oh I believe it, I feel a frickin’ heart attack coming on right now.

That report also goes on to say that the switch in times helps prevent accidents and that crime levels drop because of Day Light Savings Time.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  It’s because the criminals are human and we are all out of our mind right now.  If I was a dog, I’d probably spend the next three or four days just licking my butt.  What else do you do when the DST world is in such chaos?

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See… it’s idiots like this that love Daylight Savings Time.  You don’t want to be grouped with these idiots, do you?

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So, let me get this straight.  For some reason, some people aren’t into living by the sun.  The sun rises earlier, shouldn’t we just get up a little earlier and take advantage of the way nature rolls?  No, slackers win.  I lose and within a day’s time, I go from waking up with the reassuring feeling that the sun is peaking in my windows and the birds are chirping to now feeling like I am about to rescue the princess.  All I need is a giant fire-spitting lizard in this dungeon and I’ll be complete.  Why does this country promote the behavior of slackers!

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I have no idea what that really says, but I’m going to pretend it says, ‘I piss on everyone who loves to change the time.’

So, let’s recap.  Daylight Savings Time is stupid.  Daylight Savings Time is stupid.  And Daylight Savings Time is stupid.  Any questions?  I promise, by next week, I’ll be back to my chipper self.  Until then, I’d prepare yourself for more lunatic rants and inappropriate pictures.

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3 thoughts on “Daylight Crazy Time

  1. My argument is that if ruddy “daylight savings time” has such a beneficial effect then why don’t we do the same thing with the months?

    Go from February to April or May and then add the buggers back in Autumn …

    We don’t do it because it’s as STUPID as buggering about with the clocks. Personally, I ignore it. You can’t explain to a pachyderm that H.M.Government has moved all of time one pace to the bloody left. Pointless.

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