Victim of the Fo’ Shizzle

In a series of conversations, not meaning to be related to one another at all, my mother asked me if I felt more compelled to drink Pepsi recently.  “No.”  She told me that they had just signed a giant contract (and by giant I mean millions of dollars) for Beyonce to be a spokesperson for their product.  I started laughing.  “That’s ridiculous.  I don’t understand why on Earth people feel that Pepsi has super powers because Beyonce says it’s delicious.”

There’s only one person in the world that can make things taste better, sound better and look better.  And that’s Snoop Dogg (Lion for those up to speed) and that bitch Beyonce better back down saying that Pepsi’s great because she drinks it.  We all know, that you couldn’t get yourself a real man like Snoop Dogg, so you settled for a weak gangsta like Jay-Z.  (Really, what kind of gangsta samples from Orphan Annie?)

Let me share a little bit about the history of Snoop Dogg in my life.  I have been a Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr. fan since 1993.  Me and Snoop, we are like this (in my mind, let a girl live out her fantasy).  We go back.  You might ask, how has Snoop influenced your life Mel?

Since the subject here is star influence on product purchase… let’s start with gin.  Do you know what brand of gin Snoop Dogg drinks?  That’s right, Tangerauy.  You know what brand of gin I drink?  Tangerauy.  (Not that I have frequented gin in a long time, in the event with though, I’m still going full blown Snoop Dogg and representin’ that Tangerauy.)

Does anyone remember St. Ides Special Brew Malt Liquor.  Partiers of the 90’s are nodding there head now.  There were several flavors of this delightfully flavored malt liquor.  Who knew you could get the bang of Colt 45 in flavors like Kiwi Strawberry, Mixed Fruit, Passion and Berry.

Do you know who advertised for St Ides (nick-named the Crooked I) Special Brew….

Do you know who else advertised and consumed St. Ides (Crooked I) Special Brew?

Homecoming 1996…


Homecoming 1997…


Who do you think that is with the subliminal advertising of the Crooked I at her high school homecoming?  That’s right, this Snoop Dogg loving gangsta wanna-be right here.  That’s me!

As the years have passed, I still am a loyal fan.  Which brings us to the second star-powered ad my mother and I discussed.  “Mel, have you seen the new Snoop Dogg commercial?”

“No, what is it?”

“Pistachios.  You have to see it.”


I hate pistachios.  HATE them.  So, now I’m left wondering what to do.  Am I going to be a weak ass bitch and cop out on Snoop?  Right now, when he obviously needs me the most in this new advertising adventure.  I’m sure I could get over that weird texture, right?

Oh, Snoop.  Why?  Why not peanuts or pecans?  Pistachios.  For you though, Snoop.  I may give up all my angst of pistachios and try them for you.  Anything for you, Snoop, anything for you.


3 thoughts on “Victim of the Fo’ Shizzle

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s