My sister asked me to rehash over a delightful shopping experience we had at Kohl’s one day. Yes, we spend a lot of time at Kohl’s. When we get out to the big city, it is where we go. Why? They have awesome clearance items and crazy shit like this.
While the rest of the United States was huddled around a TV watching the Casey Anthony trial unfold, we got out of town and went to Kohl’s. We could have been a statistic, sitting around arguing if the mom did it, why she did it, if it was an accident, was it with a candlestick in the kitchen. We needed to get out and get some fresh air.
I met my mom and sister and together we loaded up and headed to Virginia Beach. Did you know we are so rural that we have to cross a bridge with two magical tunnels and seventeen dollar toll to get to ‘civilization’? We do. We hit Chipotle first, ate massive burritos and headed over to Kohl’s. It’s always the worse plan because you can never properly try on clothes after consuming ten pounds of burrito.
At some point, we became separated from mom. We wandered along the main aisle when I spied that dirty mannequin. I started nudging my sister and gesturing towards that slutty dummy. The plastic girl was wearing nothing but a fire engine red bra and matching panties. Did I mention the undies were down around her knees?
We hysterically giggled our way out of the main aisle into the Lady’s Casual department.
“God, I can’t wait to tell mom about that!”
More laughter, more laughter. And just when we got it under control, just barely, we heard a woman scolding her child.
“You best stop acting up. You don’t want Casey Anthony to be your babysitter, do you?”
And that was it. We were done for. How on Earth we kept our burritos in and our bladders intact is still a mystery to me. We continued our walk through the store looking for mom, so excited to update her on what we had just experienced over the last five minutes.